On love and marriage (Part 4)

Right of the bat, that I to share that this sentence from Pope Francis' "Amoris Laetitia" struck me in the At Home Marriage Retreat 2023, "Day 4 - Listening to the Heart": Often the other spouse does not need a solution to his or her problems, but simply to be heard, to feel that someone has acknowledge their pain, their disappointment, their fear, their anger, their hopes, and their dreams." If husband and wife cannot do this for each other, then who can? The only person that a husband should be truly intimate and open with is his wife - not his parents, not his siblings, not his best friend but his wife. This should be the same for a wife toward her husband.

One of the things that Natural Family Planning (NFP) teaches couples about intimacy is S.P.I.C.E. - "S" for spiritual intimacy; "P" for physical, not sexual, intimacy; "I" for intellectual intimacy; "C" for creative intimacy; and "E" for emotional intimacy. These are ways husband and wife can grow in intimacy with each other, allowing each other to be vulnerable, and opening each other heart to one another. When society and the culture talk about intimacy, it is always sexual but, while God created us to be sexual beings and sex is a gift from God in the context of the marital bond, spouses can be  (and are called to be) intimate with each other in a much deeper level. This is what it means for them to become one - in God and with each other.

Often times, spouses fear being intimate with each other because they fear letting their guard down. They fear being vulnerable and getting hurt. Therefore, it is important for couples to help each other identify and work through past hurts and wounds and heal from them through forgiveness and reconciliation. It could be meeting with a priest, deacon, or counselor to help them talk through the pain and anguish of past hurts and wounds. One such opportunity is the "Unbound Conference" (https://mogpc.org/events-1) or one of the conferences put on by the John Paul II Healing Center (https://jpiihealingcenter.org/). Some things we cannot resolve on our own. Fortunately, the Church has gifted people who can help us heal so that we can be the best version of ourselves for our spouses and families.

Here are links to my previous blogs "On love and marriage":

- Part 1: https://dcnphuc2019.blogspot.com/2023/02/on-love-and-marriage-part-1.html

- Part 2: https://dcnphuc2019.blogspot.com/2023/02/on-love-and-marriage-part-2.html

- Part 3: https://dcnphuc2019.blogspot.com/2023/02/on-love-and-marriage-part-3.html

UPDATED: Here is the link to the At Home Marriage Retreat and other resources from the USCCB: https://www.usccb.org/resources/national-marriage-week-2024-home-marriage-retreat